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Unemployment update: Mid-week 2

100 16 Random Important facts about my imprisonment  glorious stint of unemployment:

1. Ozzy and Norman have been renamed “Boo Boo Stank” and “Shuffles,” respectively. Ginger is now “Oh please stop.” Cat is still “Li’l Annoying Fukker.”

2. While I shower daily, early experimentation reveals an hitherto unrealized and astonishing number of days I can go without washing my hair.

3. Hat is my friend.

4. If you lie really still at 4:30 am, you can hear the rest of your time zone peacefully sleeping. Current record before bursting into tears of despair: 9.6 seconds.

5. Reopening random bedroom doors does not, in fact, magically reveal anything new to discover.

6. As with #5, so the same with closets.

7. Also, Narnia does not exist.

more »

The Trials of Unemployment, or: Why Deri Should Not Be Left Alone to Her Own Devices for Very Long

Deri’s Log: Unemployment — Day One

9:00 am

Woke to find snow on the ground. Thrilled to have a day at home, no driving to office or bundling in fifty-seven layers. Enjoy a cup of coffee in my pjs whilst dreaming of all I would accomplish today, i.e. all my homework for the week plus several chapters of several novels. Dream big or go home. Except I am home. More coffee.

11:00 am

More coffee, still in pjs, amazed at how many talk shows talking about menopause, weight loss tricks involving coconut oil, and female sexual frustration that can be shown in one morning. Also, I apparently have every form cancer on earth.

11:30 am

WebMD confirms all diagnosis of cancer. I’m also gratified that Franklin “Lil Bub” Wilcox was not the father. That girl is cray cray.

11:45 am

Lil Bub is apparently the father of several other babies. My faith in him was misplaced.

more »

On the Matter of April Poems, My First Interview, and Squelching my Demons

Every April — National Poetry Month — I attempt to do the Poem A Day challenge, or NaPoWriMo, or some variation thereof in which I write at least one poem a day. Last April I finally achieved my goal, which was simply to write a poem every single day. In the past I’ve started with a bang, then sputtered out in grand fashion. Or let several days go by and played catch up. Much like NaNoWriMo (the novel writing challenge held every November in which you write at least 50K words of a novel) there is no prize at the end other than the sense of accomplishment. Oh, and thirty fresh poems, of course. more »

First World Problems

I am not what most people consider privileged. I know I sure don’t. But I had an epiphany of sorts today that I hope will help me on the days when I’m feeling a little anxious, stressed, or, to be brutally honest, sorry for myself, a phenomena that has been on the rise lately.

It starts off with my dogs getting into the trash this morning. I was going into work an hour later than usual, which meant an extra hour of sleep! Hooray! I’ve been killing myself between work and grad school, and a particularly horrible paper on Virginia Woolf that has been the bane of my existence for weeks. An extra hour of sleep is like winning the lottery the day rent is due and all you have five dollars in your possession.

Um. No. Instead I find myself up earlier than usual sweeping coffee grounds and shredded paper towels and who knows what all else from all over my kitchen and living room because my dogs decided a little garbage surfing was what our morning was lacking.

It just seemed to go downhill from there. more »

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Wednesday’s Writings: I am Iron Woman…Come Be My War Machine.

Soooo, I haven’t blogged in a while. A very long while. My life has been to the edges of hell and back. I know that’s not a good excuse. And Lucifer refused to give me a “Please excuse Deri from the School of Life” note. Cretin.

Initially I hadn’t intended to go into detail, but what the hay. Sometimes details are necessary. In this case, I think they are relevant. After over six years together and a wedding looming in the near horizon, my fiancé walked out on me. Not a mutual breakup, not so much as a “hey, can we fix this?” talk. Just decided he wanted someone else, only a few days after assuring me things were good. I came home one night and he announced he wanted out. A few weeks later, I came home from work and his stuff was gone. A week after that he announced he was getting married to another girl. And there’s more, much more, but those details I will spare you because they are just icky. I want to scrub my brain with alcohol just thinking about them. more »

Wednesday’s Writings…Now With More Cowbell

Last week I wrote about how music inspires writing, and vice versa. I’ve been thinking some more about how music and writing are similar, which led to me realizing how I’ve grown as a writer. My mind tends to find its way to a destination through peculiar terrain, so bear with me.


A week or so ago, I was listening to the radio on my way home from class, which I rarely do. I usually listen to CDs, a habit I had gotten into because the tiny town I lived in until a month ago was too far away from civilization to pick up any radio stations worth listening to. I sometimes got a rock station from Cincinnati, but it was spotty at best. So, I’m a little behind on some of the new stuff that’s out there. That day, as I turned the corner of my street, a song came on I had never heard before, but it only took a few notes before I recognized the band.

“Hey, is this new Red Hot Chili Peppers?” I asked. Since I was by myself, there was no reply. This happens, often. more »

Wednesday’s Writings – Music and Fiction, Those Crazy Cousins

I love music. I love music almost as much as I love fiction stories. In so many ways, music and books are two sides to the same coin. The arts are one big family, if you will. The poet William Wordsworth referred to poetry and painting as “sisters.” I think of music and fiction as cousins. They both tell us stories, transporting us to a different place and time, invoking profound feelings with a swoosh of words and/or sound. They have a family resemblance, but come from different parents. more »

Schedule Shmedule: Wednesday’s Writings – On Thursday

Despite my best efforts to keep my blog posts on a consistent schedule, there is this icky, sticky thing called life that keeps interfering. Silly, stupid life. And now, there’s college. Silly, stupid life with massive quantities of caffeine and insane amounts of reading.

Well, my last post was about a really odd scene that popped into my head that I wasn’t sure about. I immediately wrote it down, and then spent the next few days obsessing about it. On that last post and also on Twitter, I asked how other writers handled the dilemma of figuring out what to do with hot new story ideas when they’ve already have one, or several, WIPs. The answers ranged from “write it down for later” (which I usually do), to basically “striking while the iron is hot.” One of my favorite tweets came from Sam LaFantasie: “I usually do the ones that have characters that won’t stop yakking at me.” more »

Wednesday’s Writings…It’s a fragment! It’s a passage! It’s a…frassage?

His hand froze in mid air, hovering inches above mine.

“What’s wrong?”

“You folded the bread wrong.” It was a whisper of ridiculous proportions.

“Huh?” I looked down at the half sandwich I was holding. Peanut butter. In my haste, I had folded it top to bottom, instead of side to side. “Oh, sorry.” I extended it further towards him, but he snatched his hand back like I was trying to give him a decomposed tarantula.

“Seriously, dude. What the hell? It will still taste the same.” I was losing patience. This guy was a nightmare in red suspenders and bad hair.

“No. It’s impossible, Julia. I can’t have it.” He crossed his arms in front of him, tucked his hands into his arm pits, and squatted straight down.  He went still, like the nerdiest gargoyle in the universe. more »

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Silly Human, Beds are for Fur Kids

As threatened, erm promised, well, stated in the welcome post on my home page, here is a random pet pic. I’ve been so busy settling into my new place over the last week or so, I’ve found little time to write, so animals being funny will have to do for now. more »

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